What Motivates You?

When I was 19, and in college. I took a job in my Corps' (church) Homeless shelter. I as counselor usually working the over night.

Most people who showed up during my shift had missed their curfew and as a result, lost their bed. It was my job to tell them that they were 'out' for 4 nights before they could return.

When this happened the outed "guest" usually came at me with insults, curses and threats. At first i was a real Jerk!!! I was young and a bit intimidated by hard homeless men often threatening to kill me for taking their bed away. So i put on a tough act.

After about six months, a homeless man was found dead in our city. He had froze to death, and i knew him. I had not taken his bad away the night before, but i had taken someone elses.

That morning in church i thought about what must go through the head of one of our guests when he finds out he is not going to be allowed in the building. It broke my heart. I realized that the same fear that caused me to put on a tough guy act was behind many of the harsh words I recieved. The men having no place to escape the elemants often at 1AM or earlier were scared. out of that fear they responded. Psychologists refer to it as the fight or flight responce.

I continued to work in the shelter. I still had a job to do and the rules were still the rules and i still had to enforce them but I i was able to change my motivation from fear to love.

It seems to me that the difficulty with the two is that fear is almost an automatic responce while love is always an uncoerced choice. Love can grow cold while fear just hardens over time.

How do we keep our love for the world red hot???