DAD

My Wife is Pregnant I hope it's a girl but ... " a Boy is my second Choice" I want a girl because i have a boy and as soon as my son was born i began to recycle all of the lines my dad used one me.

I realize that I was blessed as a child and that my dad did and said things that that I have intentionally passed down to my son I also watched my dad do and say things to my sister that i hope to use on my little "Lucinda" When she arrives.

10 special Father son events that i have retained with Logan:

1. "Of all the Little boys in the Whole wide world your daddy loves you...The Best" (another reason why a second boy could be problematic"
2. Every Story has to begin with "once upon a time".
3. Every Story has to End with "And they all lived happily ever after".
4. Ask him questions just to get him thinking (yes i do it with my 3 year old and he can form an intelligent argument)
5. "way up in the apple tree..." (i am not finishing it because this one is special)
6. "These are Grandma's Glasses..."
7. Sometimes i just take him along for the ride.
8. Sometimes i slap my hand on his leg just a little too hard and tell him i love him.
9. If i don't make it home to tell him i love him i sneak in his room and tell him i love him and just watch him for a few minutes. (don't tell dad i was usually awake )
10. When he can't sleep i give him 15 minutes, he usually falls asleep but if he beats the clock i let him come out and sit with me.

"I hate Christmas, I hate Christmas, I hate Christmas"

I thought that these words were safe. They were uttered (actually screamed) In the presence of on my wife and our Corps sergant major (senior deacon) who is also our outreach director who was also my Best Man who has also been a friend since we were Kids.

But noooooo... Joshua Douglas Jones (whose mom wanted to name him Dixxie Lee if he was a girl) went and used my private rant as a sermon illistration for his thanksgiving sermon. (See if I ever share the pulpit with you again.

Let me set the record straight!!! I do not hate Christmas!!!

My parents taught me to be very careful with the words "Love and Hate" I would get scolded equally for using either carelessly. "that is too strong of a word for that my dad would say"

None the less there are some things about Christmas (particularly Christmas in the Salvation Army) that I do "Hate" and some things that I "Love" (no one show this to my dad or my friend Tom Oord)

10. I hate fast food.
9. I hate living on 4 hours sleep.
8. I hate waking up with headaches.
7. I hate having to leave the house before my family is awake.
6. I hate figuring out kettle schedules, payroll,and human resourse issues.
5. I hate have to worry about the the bottom line and our entire year's fiscal security during a time set aside for celbration.
4. I hate have to cancel programs that have been successful all fall, knowing it will be dificult to restart in January.
3. I hate being so tired on Sunday that becomes dificult to fully give myself in worship.
2. I hate being so tired that I slip and become short and irritable with the people I love the most.
1. I hate putting my son in his bed fully dressed only able to remove his sneakers and jacket!!!



What I "Love about Christmas"

10. I love listening to peoples stories about how they were helped by the Salvation Army.
9. I love watching kettle workers and volunteers show up to church for the first time.
8. I love standing kettles and showing that "I am still the best collector of all time"
7. I love the ministry oppertunities the standing kettles affords.
6. I love the look on a kettle worker's face when they find out they got a $100 dollar bill.
5. I love whatching Soldiers preach their first sermon during advent.
4. I love wearing thermal underwear under my shortsleaved uniform shirt. (It's a South Boston look that never goes out of style)
3. I love stealing a minutes to tell my wife I Love her.
2. I love how Logan has his kettle Jobs. (I sorted pennies at his age. He pushes the button on the sorter.)
1. I love that God loved us so much to send his son.


There are many more that I could at to either list but just listing these few was good for my soul.

"Blog of an Angry White Man"

Two days ago the police stopped a young black man in the Stapleton section of Staten Island.

Stapleton is a minority neighborhood known for gangs, and drugs. It is known as "Shaolin" within the Hip Hop World as it is the birth place of the "Wu Tang Clan"

Anyway this young man was wearing a large down jacket he had his hands in his pockets and he was walking fast (almost running). He was 20 years old but could pass for 17.

The Cop was white. He was driving an unmarked car which he pulled right up onto the side walk blocking the Young Black man's face. Before identifying himself he began shouting orders at the young man, take your hands out of your pockets don't move. The young man asked who the cop was and began to walk away as the cops still had not identified themselves. In response the Cops revealed their badges and got out of their car. They pressed this young man against the car and not only patted him down but searched his bag and all of his pockets. When he asked why he was being searched he was told they were looking for someone who fit his description. And he shouldn't have been walking so fast with his hands in his pockets.

The Young man was on his way the The Salvation Army where he has been working as a bell ringer (fund raiser) . But he isn't just a bell ringer he has been the top collector every time he has stood. That day he raised over $500 at a grocery store. He is a member of the Salvation Army in that neighborhood and a gifted musician.

His hands were in his pockets because it was cold outside and he was walking fast so because he was trying to get to work on time.

It is easy for those in the majority to get annoyed when minority groups complain about their treatment. It is easy to write them off as whiners and say that they are just "playing a card" that it isn't so bad.

Sometimes it is so bad. This type of thing happens a lot in this neighborhood. And Being a young Black Man should not be enough to stop and search someone. As a Salvation Army Officer, as a pastor in this neighborhood, as a member of his worship community, and as a Christian, i was violated two days ago when this young man was profiled and illegally searched. I was angry and still am. This was one of my neighbors, my brothers and my friends.

I don't have a solution, I don't have a fix. I don't know the answer.

I do know racism. . I was the only white kid in my school (other than my sister) right through JR High i went home with black eyes, cuts, unjust suspensions and was once chased right out of my school with a machete.

In all my time on the receiving end of racism i never felt so broken as I did while listening to one of "My People" recount what had just happened to him.

Top Ten

In November 2002 I was In my second year at The Salvation Army's seminary in New York. My wife was 4 months pregnant. And I was out of breath... literally. Every time I walked to class I was huffin and puff in. And my chest was tight.

I found a local cardiologist. I was born with a heart problem but that hadn't bothered me in years I had even been cleared to play sports in high school. So I went thinking he would tell me I was out of shape and needed to lose 20 pounds.

Well I was a little out of shape and definitely over weight... But, I also had an aortic aneurysm that was 9 center meters in diameter. It was so was so large that it was pressing against my lung and that was why I was feeling winded. Generally they don't get that large. Usually the aorta just explodes by 7.5 or 8 center meters.

At first I was stunned. How was I supposed to feel, my wife was pregnant we have spent all of our savings to go to seminary. We had a session mate who had recently left seminary because the rigors of the ministry were physically to much.

I began treating this crisis the way I usually respond to stress. I made jokes. When people asked me how I was doing I would answer: "still breathing" and move on. (My wife in particular didn't appreciate this)

During one of these days before my surgery I put together a top ten list ast a joke of the songs I would list to before open heart surgery. I even sent this list to about 80 of my closest friends. Below is the list:


10. Lose Yourself (Eminem)
9. Breath You In (Thousand foot Krutch)
8. See the Flames begin to Crawl (FiF)
7. The Hunted (The Insyderz)
6. Fly Away Home (Papa San)
5. The Impression That I Get (The Mighty Mighty Bostones)
4. With Arms Wide Open (Creed)
3. Alive (POD)
2. Liven it Up When I Die (The Electrics)
1. Every New Day (FIF)

While it started out as a joke I began to listen to the songs I was considering. Every New Day by Five Iron Frenzy contains the lyrics

"Dear Father, I need you. Your strength, my heart to mend. I want to fly higher every new day again" It hit me like a ton of bricks God loves me the Creator of universe had already died for me and I needed to trust in his love.

I didn't trust that he would mend my heart, physically. I didn't even trust that I would ever wake up. I simply trusted my being and my family to his Love where ever that might have taken us.

Sitting in the waiting room I did listen to all 10 songs, then I played "Every New Day" And walked into my surgery comfortable in God's love.